Rihanna projects the image of DGAF-carefreeness, but in an eye-opening new interview withVanity Fair, she digs deep into her insecurities, her sometimes-painful history, and her unseen life as a normal, human person. Here, we bring you seven crucial moments from her cover story, spanning from Chris Brown to her TV preferences.
1. She admires Rachel Dolezal.
"I think she was a bit of a hero, because she kind of flipped on society a little bit. Is it such a horrible thing that she pretended to be black? Black is a great thing, and I think she legit changed people's perspective a bit and woke people up."
2. She dreams about being able to buy her own groceries.
Why? Because it's normal. "Because life is not perfect, and the minute you feel it's perfect, it's not real."
3. Her taste in TV: true crime over fiction.
Breaking Bad, Bates Motel, and forensics shows such as The First 48 and Snapped, for which she traded in NCIS and CSI. "'Those are things that actually happened in real life,' she says. 'I'm stuck on the fact that these things actually happened. All those other things are just made-up stories.'"
4. She doesn't do casual sex.
"I mean I get horny, I'm human, I'm a woman, I want to have sex. But what am I going to do—just find the first random cute dude that I think is going to be a great ride for the night and then tomorrow I wake up feeling empty and hollow? He has a great story and I'm like...what am I doing? I can't do it to myself. I cannot. It has a little bit to do with fame and a lot to do with the woman that I am. And that saves me."
5. She got back with Chris Brown because she thought she could change him.
At first, she bore the abuse thinking she was his "guardian angel," the only one who could understand and protect him. Then she wised up. "You want the best for them, but if you remind them of their failures, or if you remind them of bad moments in their life, or even if you say I'm willing to put up with something, they think less of you—because they know you don't deserve what they're going to give. And if you put up with it, maybe you are agreeing that you [deserve] this, and that's when I finally had to say, 'Uh-oh, I was stupid thinking I was built for this.' Sometimes you just have to walk away."
6. She works out daily so she can eat three types of pasta in one meal.
Not at Del Posto, but at Giorgio Baldi, her favorite restaurant in L.A. The order: three half-portions of spaghetti pomodoro with basil, gnocchi, and ravioli. The how: 'Legit, I have been in the gym every day this week because I am not willing to give up my food. But I will sacrifice an hour for the gym.'"
7. Dating rumors have given her trust issues.
She says she's hesitant to even make friends because if she so much as stands *near* a guy, the media will call them a couple. "I'm the worst. I see a rumor and I'm not calling [them] back. I've had to be so conscious about people—what they say and why people want to be with me, why people want to sleep with me…It makes me very guarded and protective. I learned the hard way."
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