Jay McCarroll on Episode One of Project Runway, Season Six

Missed an episode of Project Runway? Be sure to catch up on all the drama and fashion as your favorite winners and finalists from past seasons blog their way through season six.

Recapping the first episode is zany season one winner Jay McCarroll. Be sure to check out Jay's website, jaymccarroll.com for his goods, and tune in to his documentary Eleven Minutes on the Style network this weekend, premiering 8/22 at 6pm and 8/23 at 3pm.

Warning: Spoilers ahead!

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So, out with the old and in with the new. Season six opens with the designers arriving at their apartment and giving us a glimpse into who they are. From once aspiring neurosurgeon Ra'mon to grungy auto fixer upper Logan to ex-crystal-mether Johnny. My question is, what gay fashion designer isn't a meth-head?

We then meet Gordana Gelhausen the Romanian gymnast and child bride of Bella Karolyi and potato farmer who now owns a dress shop. Up next we meet Malvin, Carol Hannah, miss "plus sexy" Qristyl and Shirin.

Next up is the "feather prince" Nicolas who, I can already tell, will not be one of my favorites. Mitchell, Epperson and Christopher file in next to Ari aka Samantha Ronson in ironic mom jeans, Althea and Irina who has the new furry iPhone poodle who she has affectionately named "princess". Um...yeah. Rounding out the girls' pad is Louise Black which I read isn't her real name. She seems cute.

They all head up to the rooftop of their apartment to meet Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn. Everyone looks golden and they all chit-chat about where they are from and their hairstyles while sipping a bit of bubbly.

From there they walk the red carpet of the Nokia Theater to get their challenge. Whatever could the challenge be? You guessed it...create a red carpet look that exhibits the designers personal design perspective.

Tim tells the designers that they have $200 and 30 minutes at Mood Fabric and the winning designer gets immunity at the next challenge. They sketch. Well, everyone but Ari. She would rather do handstands against the walls. They go to Mood and get all of their designer panties in a bunch.

They are now back in the workroom and crystal-meth Johnny is freaking out because he is shooting designer blanks. He says "I just never thought it would be like this". Um...did you ever watch the show hon? What did you think was going to happen? Secret little people were going to design and sew for you? Ra'mon consoles him with his infinite wisdom and magical mullet. Johnny then whines to Tim Gunn about his designer's block and Tim digs deep inside of his robot soul and offers up some designer therapy in the form of a "make it work" moment. Johnny feels better and all is well in the world!

Malvin and Ari probably need to get together and make an alien baby that they could make neon clothes for and cut its hair into weird shapes.

Tim comes in for his usual consultations. A little concern here, a little "I'm scared of this shit but I don't know how to tell you so I will just act passive aggressive and use a big word and let you figure it out" there.

On the day of the show, everyone is frantically trying to finish their shit. Tim comes in and instructs them to pull some accessories from the corporate sponsor wall and to send their models to the product placement and product integration hair and makeup room. Mitchell is trying to put something together that resembles a garment down the runway.

Heidi introduces the usual suspects. An especially tan Michael Kors, miss Nina Garcia and special guest judge, legging expert and paparazzi employer, Lindsay Lohan.

Lets start the show....

ALTHEA: Silver old Hollywood gown with some sort of schemata at the bustline. It's eh...nothing groundbreaking. Seems to be made well.

GRADE: C+

GORDANA: Seafoam architectural mini-dress. It's not the most flattering silhouette but I give her credit for trying something innovative at the bustline for this first challenge.

GRADE: B

MALVIN: interesting details but looks poorly constructed and could have been more effective in a prettier color.

GRADE: B-

MITCHELL: I actually don't mind this look. It has a certain sense of chicness and high fashion drama. The silhouette is interesting and unexpected. The sheerness in a definite issue but the model rocked the hell out of it.

GRADE: B-

LOUISE: Conceptually I like the idea and the vibe but the color is a little blah. I also am not digging either the mid length or the blobby hemline. I like the fabric manipulation at the shoulder.

GRADE: B

CHRISTOPHER: It's edgy and playful. I like the coloration contrast but I'm not loving the asymmetrical hemline or the one-glove action. I just wish it was a bit more polished.

GRADE: A-

RA'MON: Beautifully fit but I feel like I have seen these techniques in a million dresses...the color was a little too navy and would have looked beautiful if just slightly more purple. What was up with that square hemline?

GRADE: A-

SHIRIN: Kudos for the innovation of the cape but I don't think it was particularly glamorous enough for a red carpet event. Also, the length was a bit modest and the coloration a bit dry. Nicely conceived and executed.

GRADE: B

EPPERSON: I love the color and the various textures but I hate the silhouette. It's too short for the model and a little strangely cut and kind of bulbous.

GRADE: C

IRINA: I think this is one of the very few dresses that is appropriate for this challenge. It's a little simple but it moves beautifully down the runway and is very pretty and I think a lot of women could appreciate the classic elegance of it.

GRADE: A

ARI: I applaud her for marching to the beat of her own intergalactic monster heart monitor. I guess she didn't really understand the social traditionalism of the challenge. I wish if she was going to do something really out there that she would have turned the volume up to 11.

GRADE: C

JOHNNY: I'm not understanding this. its just like a big piece of fabric with the corners stitched together. No imagination or innovation and the color is just so..red.

GRADE: D

CAROL HANNAH: definitely unexpected and dramatic and risk-taking. I think it is one of the very few dresses that could actually step onto the red carpet. I must say I was pleasantly surprised by her work.

GRADE: A

QRISTYL: Poor Qristyl. She is in a bit over her head here. it's kind of like a catalog prom dress. I applaud her for putting herself out there and having some fun though.

GRADE: D+

LOGAN: Ugg central. Dark and stiff and not terribly innovative. I sense a bit of Robert Plotkin from Season 1 version 2.0. I hope he sticks around cuz he sure is nice to look at.

GRADE: C-

NICOLAS: I'm neither here nor there on this one. It's edgy but its also just so shiny and weavy that I cant really tell what's going on there.

GRADE: B

Shows over..let the judges judge.

Top three are Christopher, Ra'mon and Johnny. Bottom three are Qristyl, Ari and Mitchell.

Lindsay Lohan, I must say, wasn't the most heinous judge in project runway history and she actually spoke from a, dare I say, sort of educated place? How did this happen?

What I am surprised by most is that you would think Lindsay would have at least thrown Ari a bone, no pun intended, for looking exactly like her lesbian lover. I guess she was all business here.

Christopher is the winner, and Ari is outta there!

I thought Ari's love of handstands and obnoxious print clothing would have guaranteed her at least a couple of episodes. But I guess I was wrong. We will miss your colorful spirit Ari McRonson Fish.

Well, I did have my trepidations about Project Runway's move to a new network but it feels basically the same as the past 5 seasons. I look forward to seeing where this season heads and what interesting and torturous challenges the designers must face.

P.S. I am all about the Models of the Runway show...I know you secretly are too!