Why Queen Elizabeth Wouldn't Let Herself Experience Feelings

Queen Elizabeth wearing a bright pink coat and hat in front of a circular patterned wall — (Image credit: Getty Images)

Queen Elizabeth II had an incredible career, spending seven decades on the British throne. But according to one royal biographer, there were certain things even the late Queen wasn't very good at, including showing emotion.

In the book My Mother and I, royal expert Ingrid Seward discussed Queen Elizabeth's alleged inability to show her emotions in certain situations.

Former politician Douglas Hurd told Seward, "The Queen trained feelings out of herself in order to avoid any confrontation."

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According to Seward, "The Queen's former press secretary, the late, enigmatic Martin Charteris, who started working for her when she was Princess Elizabeth, agreed" with Hurd's summation.

Charteris told the royal expert, "The Queen is not good at showing affection. She'd always be doing her duty."

Ingrid Seward

'My Mother and I'

Queen Elizabeth wearing a purple coat and hat and scowling — "The Queen is not good at showing affection. She'd always be doing her duty."

Charteris spent more than two decades working with the Royal Family, and told Seward that "The Queen really had very little to do with [her first child, King] Charles." As the former press secretary explained, "He'd have an hour after tea with Mummy when she was in the country, but somehow even those contacts were lacking in warmth."

According to Charteris, it wasn't just Queen Elizabeth who had a subdued approach to expressing emotions. "[Prince Philip] would be rather grumpy, about almost anything," the former royal employee told Seward. "And neither of them was there very much."

As a result, King Charles reportedly spent much of his childhood alone or, at the very least, apart from his parents.

Queen Elizabeth wearing a tweed hat and coat and smiling — "The Queen trained feelings out of herself in order to avoid any confrontation."

Describing Charles's childhood, Seward noted, "It was a terribly old-fashioned, upper-class upbringing." The royal expert continued, "The Royal Family never spoke about their difficulties, and if any of them had a problem they never talked it over. They only spoke about the most trivial of things and, as a result, awkward issues were left in abeyance until it was too late."

Basically, Queen Elizabeth seemingly put duty ahead of anything else, which led to her feeling the need to suppress her own emotions.

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Amy Mackelden is the weekend editor at Marie Claire, where she covers celebrity and royal family news. She was the weekend editor at Harper’s BAZAAR for three years, where she covered breaking celebrity and entertainment news, royal stories, fashion, beauty, and politics. Prior to that, she spent a year as the joint weekend editor for Marie Claire, ELLE, and Harper's BAZAAR, and two years as an entertainment writer at Bustle. Her additional bylines include Cosmopolitan, People, The Independent, HelloGiggles, Biography, Shondaland, Best Products, New Statesman, Heat, and The Guardian. Her work has been syndicated by publications including Town Country, Good Housekeeping, Esquire, Delish, Oprah Daily, Country Living, and Women's Health. Her celebrity interviews include Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Chastain, the cast of Selling Sunset, Emma Thompson, Jessica Alba, and Penn Badgley. In 2015, she delivered an academic paper at Kimposium, the world's first Kardashian conference.