Hoda Kotb Had Her Dream Job—Then Decided to Walk Away

In Exit Interview, Marie Claire has a candid conversation with someone who has left their job. We learn all about their experience—both the good and bad—plus why they decided to leave and what life looks like on the other side. Here, we talk with Hoda Kotb, who for nearly three decades has been a beloved face on NBC, first on Dateline, then on TODAY, where she co-anchored the show for the past seven years. But after turning 60, she knew it was “time for the next wave."

How long had you been thinking about leaving the TODAY show?

Hoda Kotb: It was something that was nestled in the way-back of my mind, and especially with my kids and the ages they are, I thought about it on days that were long or days that I missed things. When you're in love with something, it's like, why would you ever break up with someone you're in love with? It doesn't make any sense to do that. But I realized that there are phases of life, and the TODAY show and NBC has been my longest relationship of any I've ever had. I wanted to see what kind of possibilities were available to me beyond this incredible job.

Someone put it to me this way: “When you choose to jump, you have to be able to imagine yourself on the other side. You can't just fling off of a cliff and go, Yay, I hope it's amazing.” I was imagining myself on the other side. After working at NBC for 26 years, it really hit me clearly on my 60th birthday. It was like a rocket ship. I looked outside, I looked out at the plaza, and I just knew. This is the mountaintop. This is the top of the wave. I’ve reached the pinnacle. And I just knew. I thought to myself, It's time for the next wave, whatever it is.

What made you think there's another chapter for you?

HK: My run at the TODAY show has never been better than it is right now. Never. I kept meeting people who had left jobs and I was asking them questions on the show. Trevor Noah was one. He said, “You have to go before you start resenting the job.” I didn't feel that, but I don't ever want to feel that. Then Chris Martin was here and he said that the last album they were going to do was [coming up]. And I said, So Coldplay’s over? He said, “Yeah.” And I was like, Well, how do you know? And he goes, “Because I know it's two more. And then we're done.” As painful as it is, you can hold two things. You can be heartbroken and also know you're ready for a new adventure and to give something else a try.

Who else did you turn to for advice when you decided you were ready to leave?

HK: Maria Shriver is kind of my north star and she had a piece of advice for me. She said, “Plan your day the Monday after. You need a mini plan.”

So here is my mini plan: I'm getting up for a SoulCycle class at 5:45. I'm going to do that until 6:30. I'm going to come home because my kids get up around then. I'm going to make the most delicious cup of coffee. I’ll enjoy breakfast with my kids. I'm going to put my coat on over my sweaty outfit and I'm going to walk my kids to school and I'm going to walk home. I'm going to take a hot shower and I'm going to do some work on a couple of things that I'm excited about in the wellness space. I'm going to have lunch dates with people who I have been dreaming of having lunch dates with but I never had a minute to eat lunch. I'm going to do a couple more hours of work and then I'm going to walk to that school. I'm going to bring my kids home. I'm going to put some steaks on the barbecue. I'm going to pour a glass of wine and I'm just going to have a day.

So many people you hear when they stop doing something they've done for years, they feel rudderless or directionless. I don't want that. So I’ve got my plan. I'm ready.

Let’s talk about what you’re working on in the wellness space. You’ve previously said you’re working on an app and may host wellness retreats. What can you share about that?

HK: Over the last three years or so, I've had my toe in the water of all of these things. Things that I would've thought five years ago were sort of "woo woo" and weird, I now find very incredible. It started off with a woman who taught me breath work, which I thought was breathing. I thought, Thank you very much. I've been doing that pretty well my whole life. But then I started the technique and after I was breathing for 10 minutes, I burst out into tears. And I said, “What was that? What happened there?” It's a release of things. That was a real life-changer for me, probably the most life-changing experience I've ever had, after Haley and Hope, my two kids.

We're still in the infancy stages of the company, but it's going to be something that is for everybody. My company's not going to be product-driven. You're going to try things.

What advice would you have for somebody who's looking to make a pivot and is nervous about doing something different?

HK: I remember some good advice, weirdly, from Bethenny Frankel. She said, “If you're in a job, put 10 percent of your time and 10 percent of your money toward the thing that you’re thinking about but not doing.” You can't leave your job because you need your insurance. And you can't just jump and say, What the hell! Because you're not an idiot. You have to pay your bills. But it reminds you of your other goal.

We’re all doing things because we think we should, or maybe it sounds good, or our parents wanted us to. But at the end of the day, you really have to find your thing. And [former co-host of TODAY’s fourth hour] Kathie Lee Gifford used to say, “Find what you love and figure out how to get paid for it.” If you're doing a job where you're just waiting on payday every other Thursday, that's a lot of days where you're not happy. You get one ride around the sun. That's it.

What are you looking forward to in your next chapter?

HK: Little things, like a road trip with my kids in my minivan. Spontaneous things. I never had any spontaneity because—how could you take the whole winter break? Also, the idea of not having to go to bed at eight o'clock every night. Being normal and going out for dinner and to have a date and to do things and to not be thinking constantly about, How late is it? When can we get home? Seeing my family in D.C. without it being a thing. And summers! Holy mackerel, summers! I am signing a deal with NBC to do certain things like the Making Space podcast and we're going to do the Olympics. So I'm excited about that.

Does anything scare you about this next step?

HK: It's out of my comfort zone. It's hoping that this wellness idea succeeds. It's doing something I've never done, although it feels like it fits me. I've always been a person who's worked for a company and suddenly to be like, Okay, you've got to make this thing work. That’s scary. I want my kids to see that you can change and stand tall and say, “I want to try that.”

After 26 years at NBC, what are you going to look back on and remember most?

HK: The friendships. I was sitting on the set yesterday and Savannah held up a screenshot of a song that she had texted me one day when I was feeling like I needed it. The lyrics were, “May you find the light to guide you.” Those tender, poignant friendships.

The other thing I'll really miss is I actually love the plaza. I've always felt like I was actually more suited to be out there than inside. It was my happy place. I remembered going out there and a woman saying to me, “Hi, your dad was a professor at WVU.” My dad passed when I was in college, and I said, “Yeah, he was a professor at WVU.” And she goes, “You know how I know that? I was your dad's secretary. And he brought all of us at the office these bracelets when he went overseas, and I thought you'd like to have them.” I'm in tears looking at this lady.

Months before that, this woman goes, “Do you recognize me?” And of course I was like, “No.” She goes, “Mrs. Spork.” Mrs. Spork was my third grade teacher. She had laminated in my horrible handwriting a note that said, “Mrs. Spork, I'll miss you over the summer,” and she handed it to me.

Then you have all these incredible people who you don’t know but have waited a lifetime to come to this one spot. You can't beat it. It's literally like the heartbeat of Manhattan. No matter who's on the show or who warms the seats, it's going to rock. It's always been that way. And I'm just glad that I got to be there for a minute.