First Came Success. Then Came "Dreamer's Fatigue"

At Marie Claire's Power Play panel on "Making Your Voice Heard," Grammy-winner DJ Miss Milan told the crowd her 2025 word of the year: "discernment." The official definition is an ability to make strong judgments. In her world—and that of fellow panelists Marsai Martin and Carol Martin—it's the ability to navigate what happens after her wildest dreams come true to the best of her ability.

Speaking to comedian and podcaster Heather McMahan, the Martins (a mother-daughter producing duo) and Miss Milan discussed what they ended up coining "dreamer's fatigue." After hitting pie-in-the-sky successes like a recurring role on Black-ish for Marsai and a Doechii DJ-ing gig for Miss Milan, a period settled in where they weren't sure what to pursue. Bucket list items like meeting Beyoncé (in Marsai's case) were checked off before most people would ever see her in concert. Daily responsibilities sapped their energy; no's hit harder.

"I know in my industry, there are days where I wasn't feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on the set," Martin said. "I think, obviously, there are so many parts in life where you hit a chapter and then all of a sudden everything snaps. You're like, wait, how did I get here? How is happening? All of a sudden I'm filled with anxiety. I don't know how I even made it to this point. How do I keep pushing? How do I go forward?"

Her mother and co-panelist, who also oversees their production company, Genius Productions, observed the post-success slump with concern. "She had a moment of time where she had this inner sadness and I didn't understand it, because all the things great were happening," Martin said. "As the mom of someone who is a master manifester, we used to tell her all the time, you can do anything. And then we're like, well, sht. She really can do anything." They addressed it together by creating new goals in the production space—and giving Marsai space to feel exactly what she was feeling. (Burnout was not an option.)

Miss Milan said the fear of having to maintain a high level of success is natural. But what it shouldn't do is limit your ability to try new things or to be satisfied with that first and only dream. "I think we have to remove that from the vocabulary forever—the whole thing of you're only as good as your last. I'm only as good as I choose to be," she said. "If you did something five years ago that was so impactful that people are still talking about it today, I think that's relevancy in my personal opinion."

After all, any success she has leaves a legacy. Her identity guarantees it. "Being a woman, especially a Black woman at that, I have twice the fight now to get recognized," she said. "So for me, it's just about building my own table and realizing that the fight is not just about me, it's about whoever's coming after me as well."

Even when Marsai feels "dreamer's fatigue" setting in, she finds power in the opportunity to express herself. She's come this far—and she's not stopping now. "I feel like as a business woman, we always have to get used to putting ourselves out there, in these big board meetings or walking into corporations that you wouldn't even expect yourself to ever walk into," she said. "Your voice is the most powerful instrument for yourself."

Miss Milan tied it all back to an intention she sets no matter where she is on the path to a goal: "doing exactly what I said I was going to do." She finds power in "just being able to say, 'Hey girl, you're going to wake up and be this thing,' and then you actually are this thing." Really, it's discernment in action.