I Conquered My Fear of Black-Tie Dress Codes—Here Are 3 Styling Lessons I Learned

Unless you grew up on the Upper East Side Gossip Girl-style, most of us Gen Zers haven’t had much experience with black-tie dress codes. In this era of nonchalance, loose-fit jeans, and the indie sleeze revival, I’ve rarely had the experience of needing to wear anything beyond a nice-ish dress to an event. Recently, however, I’ve had to confront my fear of traditional, occasion-appropriate dressing in a variety of ways.

First of all, my job as a fashion creator means I’m invited to the occasional movie premiere or red carpet. While exciting, I own approximately two red-carpet-ready looks, and I’ve already worn both multiple times (yay to outfit repeating!).

I’ve also recently fallen in love with the opera, and while new-age ballet- and opera-goers face a less strict dress code, the truth is I like going all out for an evening at the theater. There’s something so dramatic about dusting off a pair of opera gloves and pretending to be someone else for a night. It’s very reminiscent of my favorite scene in Pretty Woman, where Vivian, played by Julia Roberts, attends a showing of "La Traviata" in an iconic red dress. Like my name twin, I want to chase that escapist feeling and put together a look I might otherwise never wear.

So, as someone with newfound expertise in this department, I'm sharing some key details to help you get dressed for your next black-tie affair. Keep scrolling to see the top three lessons I've learned about formal dress codes.

Yes to a Dress, but Pay Attention to the Neckline and Hemline

I think for many people, “acceptable attire” automatically means a long, modest dress. While I definitely believe in a simple dress being the most effective black-tie garment, I would also advise paying extra care to finding the neckline that suits you best, as well as a clean, tailored hemline.

Personally, I love showing my décollatage or collarbones and try my hardest to find something with a square or deep round neckline. I know many people who also love the look of a high neckline or a dress that comes with a matching sash or scarf. It all depends on what you’re most comfortable in, and either way, knowing what you want to selectively reveal, as a long dress mostly covers you up.

As for the hemline, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to tailor things to fit you. I’m fairly average in height, but for some reason, brands are cutting dresses that look comically long on me, so I often rely on my tailor. Having something that fits right is more important than anything else when it comes to feeling confident in a formal environment.

Out-of-the-Box Accessorizing

You definitely don’t need to be in head-to-toe diamonds to make a black tie outfit stand out. My favorite thing to do is to accessorize unexpectedly. For example, I am currently obsessed with this fur collar/headband I got on eBay last year. While real fur is controversial, I definitely support sourcing second-hand fur items that are often warmer and more eco-conscious than faux fur. Take a look at any resale site, and you will be shocked at how affordable high-quality furs are!

I am also a firm believer in opera gloves—or any glove for that matter. What is more elegant than slowly removing your gloves and intentionally tucking them into a pocket or handbag? Again, my favorite pairs have been vintage, like this suede Christian Dior pair I found at a consignment shop last weekend. They also double as an amazing way to keep warm in the winter months, and I always tuck a pair of black leather gloves into my bag wherever I go.

One last accessory I have loved seeing in real life and on red carpets is any sort of headpiece. This Ann Demulemeester lace headband I saw on Lola Tung is divine, and a very subtle way to turn a dress into a look. I also love the trend of headcaps or crocheted hats, like this one with pearls, or this vintage set that I got from my mom, which she passed down to me.

Rent a Look

As I mentioned before, I don’t own many formal dresses. But my best piece of advice is to invest in a fantastic pair of heels, your favorite bag, and then rent a dress or a matching set. I think it’s super unrealistic for anyone in this generation to spend thousands on something they may realistically wear twice a year. While all of my black-tie attire is bought secondhand, either from archival vintage collectors or off of my friends, it still adds up! I recommend asking around your circle for anyone who may have a wedding guest look tucked in their closet, and then make it your own with accessories.

I also love NYC-based rental brand Hauteline, which specializes in cool-girl brands and vintage handbags and shoes. They have saved me on many last-minute occasions.