My “Crazy Eyes” Shopping Technique Is How I Find Pieces I Never Regret, Replace, or Stop Loving

Sometimes our friends see things in us that we don’t even realize ourselves.

Over the weekend, I went shopping with a friend at ABC Carpet and Home to help her decorate her New York City apartment. I was pulling rugs, eyeing tables, imagining art on walls, when she stopped me mid-sentence, and with the utmost precision, asked, “But do you have crazy eyes for it?”

“Crazy eyes.” I would have preferred heart eyes, but in a way, crazy eyes were far more accurate. Simply put: when I see something I truly love, my eyes change. They widen. There’s a spark. A kind of cartoonish, popping animation and intensity that overtakes my face. If the object in question didn’t provoke that reaction, she didn’t want it. No matter how well it fit the space. No matter how sensible. No matter how many boxes it checked off the list.

What a revelation! She articulated what I knew to be true but had never expressed. The things in my home and my closet that I got the crazy eyes for (which is the majority) don't just tick a box; they’re pieces I will never regret, replace, or stop loving.

Of course, shopping often falls into two separate categories: needs versus wants. Needs include items like underwear, warm coats in winter, bras that fit, and a toothbrush that removes plaque. But even the right need item can cause a crazy eye reaction. A basic that’s anything but will still give you a dopamine spike.

My point is: none of us really need to shop based just on what works in the most basic sense. I don’t fill my closet with pieces that merely go with things. I don’t buy the table that fits the room; I buy the table that fits the room and gives me crazy eyes. I go for the chartreuse Prada purse that makes my pulse pick up. The practical yet impossibly tote bag I keep thinking about hours later, unprompted.

Crazy-eyes shopping is slightly irrational, yes, but it’s also deeply clarifying. In a world drowning in options, algorithms, dupes, price tiers, and same-sameness, crazy eyes can help cut through the noise. They’re the fastest editing tools I know. If I don’t feel that visceral pull, that flicker of obsession, it’s a no. Not a maybe later. Not a this will do. A no.

We’ve also never had more opportunities to shop only for items that catch our crazy eyes. The internet has blown the doors off access, making it easier than ever before to buy vintage, pre-loved, one-of-a-kind pieces with history baked in. That said, looking for items that only give you crazy eyes does require a bit of patience. It might mean waiting a bit longer and buying less. But you need to trust that the right thing will appear, and when it does, your heart and eyes will know before your brain catches up.

See below for some of the pieces my eyes are currently lighting up for.