I think it's OK for guys to cry. Some situations, however, are not acceptable for man-crying. In fact, crying can push a girl away from time to time.
I've only seen my dad cry once in my entire life. Growing up, my sisters and I always wondered why he didn't cry like we did when he hurt himself. He's very stoic, and even keeled. After my initial battle with testicular cancer, the Oncologist discovered that some of the cancer had moved into my bloodstream. I remembered telling my dad the situation on the phone, and for the first time in twenty-two years I heard him sobbing.
At 18, I learned that crying after a breakup did absolutely nothing to bring a girl back into the relationship. In fact, it pushed her away. I didn't realize that the new guy in her life seemed like the fun easy-going one, and I looked like an emotional sobbing train-wreck. Which guy would the girl rather be with?
Then there are the embarrassing times I've cried. The first few weddings I attended brought tears to my eyes when my friends appeared in the aisle. That was just an example of memories flooding my mind too quickly: overload. Then, I cried on graduation night from college, and all my friends made fun of me. They now understand why I cried that night.
In the 2000 AFC Divisional Playoff game, Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis intercepted a pass at midfield and returned it for a touchdown, sealing the game against the Tennessee Titans-a team I had feared the entire week leading up to the game. With each step toward the end zone, I screamed louder, and simultaneously realized I was crying out of happiness and emotional overload.
Songs can make me cry, and-of course- TV and movies. The most shameful cry I ever had was at the end of "Sleepless In Seattle". No excuse for that.
You know I'm guilty of trolling the women's channels quite often during my many TV watching sessions. WETV has some good ones: "20/20 on WE" and this other show called "The Locator". Yes, I admit "The Locator" airs
Saturday nights and I'm sometimes home to watch. But that's a whole other story.
I have a connection to "The Locator" because the host of the show, Troy, re-unites people who haven't seen one another in years-usually a mother and the child that never knew them. Because my grandfather was an orphan, my sisters and I are not sure of our volatile ethnic mix. We'd love to know more about him, but he died when we were really little. At least my mysterious ethnic background allowed me to check off "Other" in the Ethnicity section of my college applications-think that's how I got in to most of the schools.
I did some research on Troy and found solace because he has played football and spent time as a private investigator. Those are both "manly" things-but he, too, is guilty of crying during the process of re-uniting families and friends. And he's been re-uniting for a long time-he has practice trying to hold back the tears.
I decided to test my "Locator Crying Theory" (stating that over 50% of people that watch will cry) with my guy friends and we all sat down and watched an episode. I was happy to see that the majority of them couldn't even make it through the opening ten minutes of the show without an emotional reaction.
But maybe all this crying together is good for us guys-my friends seem to think so. They are already planning a get together for our weekly TV night to watch back-to-back episodes for the upcoming series finale: guys only. Then it's off to the West Village for manis and pedis. Just kidding about that last part.
Girls have playfully poked fun at me when they've seen me crying over a movie or TV show. But crying over a breakup or fight seems to turn a girl off. Do you mind when a guy cries, and does it depend on the situation? What is your reaction when he cries over a breakup or fight?