The Real Reason Some Women Are Just Not That Into Sex With You

Last week, I talked about how it seems that many women lose interest in sex when they're in long-term relationships.

What I didn't get around to saying is that I have a hypothesis about why:

Because men either aren't attuned enough to women's sexual pleasure, or else they get lazy about making sure it will happen — and it's a lot easier to be interested in sex when you're getting off 100 percent of the time that you have it.

It's much less easy when you're getting off only a fraction of that time.

Dudes of America, if I may ask for your attention, please realize that while it may be nearly automatic for you to enjoy the act of man-on-woman sexual intercourse — for you to enjoy jabbing your phallus into the most sensitive female body part, again and again and again, often disrupting one's stomach, full of one's evening meal (not to mention a few other vital organs involved in digestion) — it's not always so straight-forward for women. Think about it, hombres: We allow you to poke that tuberous body part of yours repeatedly into a place where it barely fits, while you crush us from the waist-down with your greater body weight, and often tear at our hair — or simply pin it down under your forearms so that we can't move our heads without disrupting the whole firecracker that we are praying will explode now in the hopes we can get to sleep that much sooner! — and you are often biting us in the process. Plus, you guys pretty much always experience the bliss of orgasm, whereas we have no guarantee that we'll enjoy such nirvana.

So is it really that surprising we don't always love it?

I mean, many of you hetero guys define sex as: "Any act which results in the getting off of the male." I personally, as a woman, would prefer it if your definition was more like: ""An interaction which results in the getting off of the male — and the female."

Of course, the female orgasm is a relatively complicated matter, compared to male ejaculation. Often, both partners needs to put in some time, and to have patience and dexterity if a lady is to achieve climax. I do think an adult woman should know how to orgasm, on her own, and if she's never had the experience, she shouldn't put the pressure on you, the man, to provide it. She should get herself a vibrator and figure it out. But once she's done that bit of homework, it's up to both of you to make sure she enjoys orgasmic pleasure on a regular basis —if you want to keep her around, and keep her interested in the shagging.

So, maybe, guys, just maybe, if you feel your sex life is flagging, you should put a little more effort into pleasing your lady! Just saying.

(Mens and womens: Do you think I'm onto something here?)

And I know, I know: You males are gonna say we females should tell you what we want — otherwise, how are you to know? And fair enough. It's just that it can be kind of annoying to feel you have to ask every time, or remind a person, or have a discussion about it. So can you meet us halfway, please?